Women’s true happiness 女性の本当の幸せって

Today would have been my Mom’s 83rd birthday. She left her body rather suddenly on August 2014. When I received the e-mail from my sister I was in New York City in the middle of teaching my Yoga Teacher Training course. I remember being completely dumbstruck to learn the news and couldn’t even feel the loss until the end of the day.


My mother was someone who didn’t know how to show love. I had a rough time growing up with her constant criticism and abuse towards me. I began to lie to her just to stay out of trouble. Then I wanted to stay furthest away from her. I left home at an early age. Then eventually moved away from the country I grow up in.


She never talked much about herself –She grew up during the 2nd World war. She was badly burnt on her hands from the bombings and she always wore gloves in public. She thought she may not be able to marry because of it. But she eventually met my dad and they got married.


 When I see her picture when she was younger, she has this bright smile like a thousand Suns. She must have been on top of the world- She was married to a successful business man- had two healthy daughters- She had nothing to worry about. But ….. My mom was not happy. She was always angry. I think she was chronically depressed.


 Once upon a time women were told our happiness depends on who we marry.  We fall in love and get married, then that is the end of the fairy tale. Nobody ever told us there is more to the story after the happy ending. If my mother and thousands of other women left everything behind to become a wife, that is because nobody ever told them not to give up themselves- their aspiration- and their own lives. For thousands of years, women did this. And many still continue to live this way. Maybe some women in some cultures don’t have the privilege to choose….. All I can say is that I am so lucky to have a choice. I am so lucky to live the way I want, pursuing my dreams and to be on the path of self discovery.


 Happy birthday Mama, Thank you for giving me life. ….. and continuing to inspire me to have self-awareness …… It is the most amazing gift I have ever gotten in life. And I do know you loved me even if you didn’t always know how to show it.






 きょうは亡き母が未だ生きていたら83歳の誕生日。母は2014 年の8月に突然この世を離れて行った。姉からメールでニュースが届いたとき、私はニューヨークでヨガの指導者養成コースを教えていた。急な訃報に驚き、その日の終わりまで悲しみも感じることが出来なかったのを覚えている。













電車の中で copy


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