You and millions other divorce cases 何100万もの離婚騒動、コメディか、それともドラマ?


You and millions other divorce cases—Comedy or Tragedy?

Today my student asked me, ”where can I read your blog?” My blog-? oh no, I totally forgot about my blog! It’s been a year since I updated my blog. This whole year was so tumultuous, I completely forgot about writing my blog. It’s been two and a half years since my husband declared divorce in 2013 May. By the end of 2014, we were officially divorced. So much for all the pledges and vows we made 28 years ago, Our family relationship came to an abrupt and violent end.

“I want a divorce. I don’t love you anymore, “is what he said. I still remember his deadpan face. My proceeding life simply was hell. I didn’t believe time heals everything. I was a tragic heroine. I didn’t do anything wrong. I worked so hard for the family. Nobody in my family got divorced. So why me? I kept going back and forth between all the internal chattering. My pride and sense of self worth went down to the bottom and beyond.

Then, a year later I met my boyfriend. He was like- a dream come true. I said, “Maybe this time I’ll be lucky. ” He devoted his life to me and gently wrapped his wings around my wounded heart.  He said he will be waiting for me until I’m totally ready. Immediately I said, sure, no problem! I’ll be right there… But it was not that easy.

I lived my life for my ex and my daughter, we were always together. And that impression and memory haunted me constantly. My ex’s image over-wrapped with my boyfriend and I often blamed my boyfriend senselessly. Sometimes I called him with my ex’s name. It was a mess. And he was always waiting for me. Gently and passionately, occasionally slightly annoyed. He had gone through a difficult divorce himself a few years prior, and he knew how I felt.

By the beginning of 2015, like the sunshine peering through the dark clouds after the hurricane, I began to feel more integrated. I felt so grateful to my boyfriend for staying close without giving up on me. Shadow of my ex’s image started to leave me. Instead of life with him, life without him became my norm. I felt more spacious inside which allowed me to welcome newly seeded love.

My boyfriend used to say, “the story of you and millions of others!” I used to feel annoyed and insulted hearing this. Because mine is a truly special story. But now I sigh and say to myself “after all, he was not all wrong”, as I turn on Netflix to watch another TV divorce comedy that I have been addicted to.

Lavender sky



きょう生徒に“先生のブログはどこで読めますか?”と聞かれ、ハッとした。恥ずかしいことながら、この1年間ブログの執筆をおざなりにしていた。というか、完璧に忘れていた。そのくらい激動の1年間だったのだ。2013年 5月夫に突然離婚を言い渡されてから2年半。2014年の終わりには離婚があっさり成立した。28年前にあれだけみんなの前で誓いを立てた夫婦関係が 目の前でいともあっけなく、粉々に壊れた。


















ニューヨークで25年以上の経験を持つベテラン日本人講師きょうこジャスパーによる、 ユニークな指導者養成コース。 ヨガの叡智をあらゆる側面から学び、「一生の財産」として活かすべくカリキュラム。少人数制で、一流のヨガ指導者を育成するための200時間です。”自己改革”にフォーカスをし 、大量生産にありがちな没個性の指導者育成ではなく、個々の人間に見合ったヨガのライフスタイルと練習方法、身体と心の調整方法、指導法を現代ヨガの最高峰であるN.Yメゾットを使ってお伝えしていきます。研修は全て日本語で行いますので、通訳を介すことによる時間やコミュニケーションのロスがなく、じっくりと学べる環境です。また、少人数制のメリットとして、ディレクターがみずからひとりひとりの受講生と直接向き合いますので、解らないまま先に進んでしまい、再度他のTTを受け直すなどの無駄がありません。過去にTTを受けたけれど、まだ解剖学や哲学の理解が浅い、教えだす自信のない方にもお勧めです。ヨガに深い情熱を持ち、生きる道として取り入れていきたい方、人生を改革し、しっかりと地に足をつけた生き方をしたい、と願う方、ヨガを真剣に捉えている方のみを募集しています。コースの終了後には、自己の可能性を開花し、真の「自信」への道が開かれることでしょう。


Get up and shake your booty -QL  椅子の生活から来る腰痛

Have you ever had pain on the side of your lower back after a long day of driving or working at your desk? Well then, most likely your Quadratus Lumborum on that side is screaming at you. The Quadratus Lumborum, aka QL, is a long, wide, flat, trapezoidal muscle closely resembling a flank steak. It originates from the bottom of the 12th rib and lumbar verdabrae, L1~L4. It inserts on top of the iliac crest (hip bone), exists on both sides of the body, and connects the pelvis to the spine. It is the deepest abdominal muscle and is close to the Psoas and Erector spinae. Both sides of the QL work together to extend your spine, and one side works independently to laterally flex the spine. Very powerful muscle indeed! We hear a lot that the dysfunction of the QL is a common cause of lower back pain. Why?


When I was growing up in Japan, there were really no chairs in my house. The floors were covered with Tatami mattresses, which are made of weaved straw. Tatami is soft on the surface and provides a very solid and stable structure. We used to sit on Tatami to eat, study, and play. Whenever we visited the Buddhist Temple, we would sit on our feet – Seiza style – on Tatami, sitting with our spines erect for a long time as our feet would fall asleep. We would squat to use the bathroom.


I still remember when I was 10 or 11, our life styles dramatically changed. Suddenly, there appeared couches, tables, and chairs in my house. The bathroom miraculously turned into a comfortable western style toilet with a toilet seat. We said “Sayonara!” to Tatami and said “Hello!” to the wooden floor…It was wonderful. We embraced the changes with such joy! After all, at that time, I thought it was so much more comfortable to sit on a chair.


After 40 years of life with chairs, only recently, I started to give up my couches and chairs to go back to my old lifestyle. I realized that my back feels so much better.


Sitting on a couch, chair, or car seat for long hours will conform our backs to a C-shaped curve, (kyphosis) instead of its most healthy state (lordosis) …. the S- shaped curve. The C-Curve pasture will contract our QL and erector spinae into slack, which results in muscle fatigue. The muscle will then experience decreased blood flow, and in time, adhesions in the muscle and fascia can form….. Eventually, this will result in painful muscle spasms, bulged discs, or even disc herniation.

 Spine and QL

Scary thought…but there are solutions, such as, lengthening the spine, laterally extending the spine with yoga poses like, Adho Mukha Svanasana and Parighasana. But when mere stretching doesn’t do our muscles justice, we need to consider waking them up by approaching the practice differently. Yoga Tune Up ® Pose Boomerang will teach us just that.


Stand in Tadasana (Mountain Pose) besides a wall so your shoulders and hips are perpendicular to the wall. Your inside hand is on the wall with your elbow bent, and your other hand is touching the wall. Reach the outside arm overhead and touch the wall with your hand, so both hands and shoulders are internally rotated.  The spine is extended on the outside, flexed on the inside. You will feel an intense stretch on the outside of the body and the QL. Now, attempt to pull the top hand up the wall as if you are trying to peel the paint off. Because the hand is pinned to the wall, it will not actually move, but try. As you try to move your hands apart, the QL will contract. Keep applying the pressure while breathing deeply about 5 breaths.

 Boomerang Sidebend with PNF

This action will create PNF – Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation- to increase your range of motion and strengthen the QL muscle that is stretched and contracted.

Here is also a video footage for you so you can practice with me.  

The best part of this pose is that you don’t need much space – Just a little wall space will do – so why not spend 10 minutes in between work or that long drive to get up and shake your booty?


I assure you, with regular practice, your back will feel so much better – Good luck!




デスクに長時間座ったあと、またはドライブをしたあとに腰の横側が痛くなったりしたことはありませんか?もしかしたら腰方形筋の問題かもしれません。腰方形筋はQLというニックネームの 平らで幅広、長い台形のステーキのような形をした筋肉です。肋骨の12番と腰椎の1~4番から腸骨の頭までを繋げています。身体の両側にあり、骨盤と背骨を結びつけているんです。お腹の深部の筋肉で、腸腰筋と脊椎起立筋のとなりにあって、両側が共に働くと背骨を伸展、片側が働くと背骨を片方に側屈させてくれます。とてもパワフルな筋肉ですね。





私が10歳か11歳くらいの頃に急激な生活様式の変化が起こり始めました。突然家にソファが、そしてテーブルと椅子が登場しました。まるで魔法のように、トイレは洋式に変わって行きました。畳もどんどん減って行き、板の間の部屋に取って代わりました。 椅子に座る方が遥かに楽だし、当時は洋風の生活がとても安楽で素敵なものに感じられたものです。






QL and Spine Japanese 





 Boomerang Japanese Original

このアクションで何が起こっているのでしょう? 腰方形筋を引き伸してリラックスしたあとに収縮することでPNF(固有受容性神経筋促進法)効果で可動性が拡がる、という現象を引き起こしてくれるのです。ご興味があればPNFについてもう少し調べてみてください。リハビリやスポーツ療法では盛んに使われているテクニックです。

ここで動画も観れますので、 一緒に練習してみましょう。




The Script of my life〜人生の台本

Next year will count my 30th anniversary of living in New York. That is more than half of my life, so I can safely call myself a New Yorker now. Technically, once you have lived in New York for 10 years you are officially a New Yorker. But after all these years, I hesitate to call myself with that honorable title. Part of me is New Yorker-like, yet part of me is deeply rooted in my Japanese heritage, and part of me strongly resists of being identified as any particular type of race or culture. I prefer to call myself an Earthling.


 I have lived most of my life in New York City with a man – my husband. The life with him was pretty much all I knew. I was a young girl from Japan who knew very little about how things worked. Everything my husband taught me became my reality. Though I began traveling and met people all over the world through my career, still the world with him remained the core of my existence.


 We stayed together for 27 years and had a daughter together. We faced numerous obstacles each day as a couple. Some of which we overcame together, and some of which never been addressed and resolved. Even still, I don’t think I really imagined a life without him. The time we spent together, his influence over me was far greater than my own family. He was my best friend. And more importantly, he was a big part of the script I had been writing. In my life, I always wrote a script in my mind as to how my life should be, and pretty much lived the way I wrote in my play.


 The union with my husband ended last year…. It was quite dramatic and unexpected. Who would have thought you can go through a major identity crisis after age 50? Breaking loose so abruptly from the universally recognized system called MARRIAGE? After our separation a year and half ago in May of 2013, I spent most of my life self-loathing and blaming others. I was crippled with a sense of failing…. I literally fell apart. I was making myself sick.


 “I never completed the script I have been writing for 27 years.”


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“27年間書き続けて来た台本を完成させる事が出来なかった” やるせなさ。




Women’s true happiness 女性の本当の幸せって

Today would have been my Mom’s 83rd birthday. She left her body rather suddenly on August 2014. When I received the e-mail from my sister I was in New York City in the middle of teaching my Yoga Teacher Training course. I remember being completely dumbstruck to learn the news and couldn’t even feel the loss until the end of the day.


My mother was someone who didn’t know how to show love. I had a rough time growing up with her constant criticism and abuse towards me. I began to lie to her just to stay out of trouble. Then I wanted to stay furthest away from her. I left home at an early age. Then eventually moved away from the country I grow up in.


She never talked much about herself –She grew up during the 2nd World war. She was badly burnt on her hands from the bombings and she always wore gloves in public. She thought she may not be able to marry because of it. But she eventually met my dad and they got married.


 When I see her picture when she was younger, she has this bright smile like a thousand Suns. She must have been on top of the world- She was married to a successful business man- had two healthy daughters- She had nothing to worry about. But ….. My mom was not happy. She was always angry. I think she was chronically depressed.


 Once upon a time women were told our happiness depends on who we marry.  We fall in love and get married, then that is the end of the fairy tale. Nobody ever told us there is more to the story after the happy ending. If my mother and thousands of other women left everything behind to become a wife, that is because nobody ever told them not to give up themselves- their aspiration- and their own lives. For thousands of years, women did this. And many still continue to live this way. Maybe some women in some cultures don’t have the privilege to choose….. All I can say is that I am so lucky to have a choice. I am so lucky to live the way I want, pursuing my dreams and to be on the path of self discovery.


 Happy birthday Mama, Thank you for giving me life. ….. and continuing to inspire me to have self-awareness …… It is the most amazing gift I have ever gotten in life. And I do know you loved me even if you didn’t always know how to show it.






 きょうは亡き母が未だ生きていたら83歳の誕生日。母は2014 年の8月に突然この世を離れて行った。姉からメールでニュースが届いたとき、私はニューヨークでヨガの指導者養成コースを教えていた。急な訃報に驚き、その日の終わりまで悲しみも感じることが出来なかったのを覚えている。













電車の中で copy


Shiva, the Destroyer ~ シヴァ、破壊の神

Shiva, the lord of Yoga is known as a “destroyer”.


Destruction sounds bad. But we know sometimes it is necessary to destroy, change, or end things. Especially when you know that the situation you are in is not serving you. But way too often, we don’t know what is truly good for us…. Because we become too numb to feel things.  Particularly if you have been living a lukewarm life without too many challenges.

 The Lord Shiva destroys “ignorance”. Ignorance can be translated into many different things.

 How about habits?

 Humans are a creature of habits. We find such comfort staying in one place. We want to sit at the same desk or the same park bench. We want to celebrate holidays the same way.….. year after year.

I’ve seen it happen to people. So many people have trouble moving on even when they know their jobs are not working out for them, or they may be in a wrong industry all together and complain that they have not been able to realize their full potential. Nowadays with the rapid change of technology, we need to look at our situations often and consider making some changes.


I understand cockroaches are one of these very advanced creatures that are able to morph into another being. They modify their cell structure to survive against their biggest predator- Bug spray. You may be able to kill a roach with a particular kind of bug spray today, but the same spray may not kill them next week. I am not a big fan of cockroach, but have always wanted to live my life that way.


First, “recognize the need to change”- this could a tough one.


Then, “having the courage to change”- this is nearly impossible for a lot of us.


As a Yogi, we know anything is possible with practice. But while the practice takes years of discipline, only thing we need may be one powerful life changing occurrence which totally awakens us.


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Photography by Ritsu Takada All right reserved©


「破壊」というとなんだか聞こえは悪いですが 時にはものごとを壊し、変え、終わらせる事も必要です。特にその状況が自分にとって良くない、ということがわかったときには。でも本当に自分にとって何が良いのかわからなくなってしまのが人の常。特に生温い暮らしに慣れてしまい、チャレンジもあまりないとね。











次に「変わる事の出来る勇気を持つ」・・・・ 不可能に感じるかもしれません。


ヨガを練習していると、たゆみない練習によってあらゆることが可能であることがわかってきます。その練習は何10年もかかるかもしれないのです。しかし、私たちに必要なのはひょっとしたら、一瞬にして私たちを目覚めさせ 生き方をかえてしまうような、力強いひとつの出来事なのかもしれません。


Two Wolves2匹のオオカミ

As the autumn arrives, our surroundings and everything about us begin to contract. This subtle energy shift we experience is called “Spanda” in Sanskrit. Though it is a necessary part of our lives, you may experience some uncomfortable emotional stirring. Old wounds and sense of resentment may suddenly take us over and sweep us way. As the long winter approaches,  what can we do to keep our hearts open?  Here is a very simply Indian tale my friend Bill shared with me.

An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside all of us. One is evil. It is anger, jealous, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth.”
The boy thought about it and asked, “Grandpa, which wolf will win?”
The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”

~Thank you Bill for sharing this wonderful story.

It truly nourished my heart.~

秋の到来によって、私たちのまわりの環境全て、そして私たちもが収縮を始めます。このような微細なエネルギーのシフトはサンスクリット語で”スパンダ”と呼ばれています。このようなシフトは生きて行く上で必要なこととはいえ、時にとても嫌な気分を味わうこともあります。過去に負った傷や怒りの感情に突然襲われ、勢い良く流されそうになるかもしれません。これからの長い冬の到来に向け、どのように閉じそうになる心を開いて行ったら良いのでしょうか? ここに友人のビルがシェアしてくれた、とてもシンプルなインディアンのお話をご紹介します。





With daily yoga practice, everything about life starts to make sense.